Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize