i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize