from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
