I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize