Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
