Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
