Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize