You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
