he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
