Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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