I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
