yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
