worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
