Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
