Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize