i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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