also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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