The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
