So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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