Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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