I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
