just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
