Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
