This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
