i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
