She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
