haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
