she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
