Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
