when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
