Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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