I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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