some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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