belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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