the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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