it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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