I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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