fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
