So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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