last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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