did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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