its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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