1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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