Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
