just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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