I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
