I want to have your abortion
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
