Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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