As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
