My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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