Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
