You smell like a Billy Joel song
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
