You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
