Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can't turn off my feet"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
