"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
