Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
