i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
