Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
