can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
