We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hippo gnu deer
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
