Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
