Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
